Mark Twain

Mark Twain (1835 – 1910) was an American humorist, novelist, writer and lecturer. His real name was Samuel Langhorne Clemens.

Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.

All generalizations are false, including this one

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.

Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.

A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away.
He must have time to modify his shape.

A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.

A person who won’t read has no advantage over one who can’t read.

A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives
which he habitually uses in conversation.

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something
he can learn in no other way.

A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living.
The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Don’t let schooling interfere with your education.

Don’t part with your illusions.
When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.

Better a broken promise than none at all.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool
than to speak out and remove all doubt.

Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man.
The biography of the man himself cannot be written.

Buy land, they’re not making it anymore.

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. 

Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities. 

‘Classic.’ A book which people praise and don’t read. 

Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.

Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.

Everything has its limit – iron ore cannot be educated into gold.

Everything human is pathetic.
The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow.
There is no humor in heaven.

Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world.
I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves
and how little we think of the other person.

Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles,
but most of them never happened.

I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.